What The Wall Means to Me

You asked what The Wall means to me. Well, I would be honored to tell you.

The Wall means everything to me. It’s God, country, family and friends all in one place. It’s duty, honor, service, suffering and sacrifice for all you ever believed in…. all you ever hoped for…. all you ever lived for…. all you ever bled for…. and, for some, all they ever died for.

The Wall is an everlasting legacy to all mankind from the 2.7 million men and women, America’s sons and daughters, who served in the Vietnam War, from the 300,000 who were wounded in battle, from the 75,000 who came home permanently disabled, from the 1,300 who are still recorded as “missing in action” and from the 58,000 who were killed in that war.

When I stand at The Wall, my mind is flooded with personal memories of “those times”… those days of yesteryear when I and my brothers and sisters-in-arms answered the call of our country to put on our uniforms, lace up our boots, leave our loved ones behind, travel half way around the world to an obscure and distant place called Vietnam to go to war. We were proud to answer our country’s call to arms… just as our older brothers, our fathers and grandfathers had done in wars past. We thought that when “we” went to war, all of us, all America, were going to war. We found out later the larger majority had little knowledge of, interest in, and concern for what was going on in that far away place called Vietnam.

When I stand at The Wall, I recall the days of my youth, the enthusiasm we had as we proudly carried our Nation’s colors into battle. Yes, We Were Soldiers Once… And Young! When I stand at The Wall, I reflect upon the determination and heroism shown by my comrades-in-arms as they fought under some of the most difficult circumstances ever faced by American fighting men and women. When I stand at The Wall, I recall that, tragically, when these same battle-weary veterans returned home, they received virtually no recognition for their service and sacrifice.

When I stand at The Wall, my thoughts turn to the tragedies of the Vietnam War…the longest and most divisive war, except the American Civil War, in US history … the war in which the American military never lost a battle, but ended up losing the war… the war which literally torn our country apart at the seams…. the war which came close to destroying two countries—Vietnam and America…. the war which took the lives of over 58,000 Americans and hundreds of thousands of Vietnamese, on both sides.

When I stand at The Wall, my eyes are dimmed by the tears as I search out the names of some of my best friends in life—Hugh Reavis Nelson, Jr. from Rocky Mount, NC; Edward Irwin Starr from Patterson, NY; and Ewald Zirfas from Los Angeles, CA.  Also, as I search for the etched name of a friend I have known only in death—Douglas Bernard Fournet from Lake Charles, LA., a Medal of Honor winner buried locally in the Kinder Cemetery.

When I stand at The Wall, I remember the good times my friends, Reavis and the two Ed’s, and I had as we served together on several occasions. I remember their families—the love of their lives. I remember that Reavis Nelson’s only son, “Tripp”, was one year old the day Reavis died by shielding the body of a wounded comrade with his own body. “Greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for a friend.” I remember writing “Tripp” that evening to tell him about the father he would never know. I remember later holding Ed Starr’s only son, Glenn, in my arms as Ed was ceremoniously laid to rest among our heroes in Arlington Cemetery. I remember when Ed’s wife, Jane, handed Ed’s casket flag to a relative so she could hold Glenn, the one remaining thing in life she could hold onto… and young Glenn reaching out, grabbing the flag and clutching it to his chest while telling everyone around, “You can’t give that flag away, that’s my daddy’s flag!” I remember finding out in later years that Douglas Fournet’s wife, Marilyn, was carrying son, Bill, in her womb when Doug was killed in Vietnam.

When I stand at The Wall, I see a reflection of me… I see my own son, Christian, whom God blessed us with standing beside me…. I see him in the soldier’s uniform he wore for four years as he served his country…. I see him stand proudly and salute as the flag goes by… I see him express his love and devotion to this great nation… I see him pay honor and respect for those whose names appear on The Wall…. I see the legacy of a father measured by the deeds of his son… and I thank my God every day that I was spared the fate of my friends so I could enjoy my own son in ways they will never be able to do.  

When I stand at The Wall, I see the sons and daughters of my friends…. and my heart bleeds for them. These comments better express my feelings toward “Tripp”, Glenn, Bill and such others than I could ever hope to do:

They are the Gold Star Children, war’s innocent victims, and their pain shimmers across the years pure and undimmed. They pass through life with an empty room in their hearts where a father was supposed to live and laugh and love. All their lives they listen for the footstep that will never fall, and long to know what might have been.

When I stand at The Wall, I remember that all the individual names on that long, black wall are someone’s son or daughter, husband or father…. all are America’s fallen heroes who we come to honor and express our love for. We stand there to remember them, and thank them, and tell them we miss them. We stand there to tell them that their legacy is nothing less than the many freedoms we Americans enjoy today.… and that is the most important legacy anyone can leave

When I stand at The Wall, I promise them that, as for me and my house, their lives and their sacrifice shall not have been offered in vain, but will be remembered by us all—forever.

When I stand at The Wall, I remember…. Oh, how I remember…. And, as long as God grants me life, I shall never forget what The Wall means to me.

End of newspaper article.

Now, let me add a bit to those thoughts that I expressed in the newspaper editorial last week.  

For the past few days, I have seen Vietnam Veterans from all over come together here in Oberlin to work on this Wall…. I have seen them fellowship together in the camaraderie that only brothers-in-arms can share.  I have seen them drawn to this Wall like a magnet.... and I see them gathered here today to worship.... and to honor the loving memory of those friends who have "gone on ahead".

Let me try to express our collective thoughts on why we Vietnam vets are here today.

Though some veterans may grieve at this memorial site, just being here in the company of other veterans helps ease their pain. They know they are amongst friends.

I believe most of us gather here not to grieve, but to rejoice and to remember.

We grieved when they died. We grieved with some of their family at their funerals. We grieved with their family, then and later, because of the separation these families have experienced from their precious loved ones. We grieved at our own loss of old friends.

Today, however, we rejoice in the knowledge that those who knew the Lord are now resting in the loving arms of the Father and enjoying the sweet companionship of Jesus Christ.

We rejoice in the recognition that the departed have simply reached our destination ahead of us. They now are experiencing, in full, the joys of heaven. They know all the answers to the questions that we wrestle with during difficult times... like at their death. In their life, there is now no more pain, no more suffering, and no more sorrow. They have been promoted ahead of us - and we grieve our loss, not theirs.

Yes, we grieved at the death of our personal friends. But there are thousands others whose names adorn this Wall that we did not know personally.... but I can tell you, most assuredly, that in another respect, we did know them and we loved them

We knew them in a special way... a way in which we veterans can all relate. We knew them as brothers-in-arms. We lived together. We worked together. We laughed together. We cried together. Yes, we served our country together. As the title of LTG Hal Moore's book says: "We Were Soldiers Once... And Young". We had a common bond.... and, as I like to say, "We all drank from the same canteen."

Yes, we knew them... we loved them, and.... we will never forget them.

So, let us all rejoice, today, in remembering all our brothers-in-arms who are no longer with us.... And look forward, full of hope, to a glorious reunion with these brothers and sisters one day.

It has been said many times that: "A man is not dead until he is forgotten.

So, in the next few minutes, I ask you to close your eyes and allow the floodgates of your minds to open to the precious memories we have of the departed.

We remember meeting these friends for the first time... we remember the places they came from... we remember how young they were... we remember how full of life they were... we remember how much they loved their family... we remember what they stood for... we remember what they fell for... we remember the fun we had... we remember the good times.

We remember what we were doing when they died, or how we felt, when we learned they were no longer with us... we remember trying to find the appropriate words to express to their loved ones when we called, wrote letters or attended their funerals... we remember how we felt when the casket flag was folded and presented to the next of kin on "behalf of a grateful Nation"... we remember how we fought back the tears when we said our final farewell.... and, we remember how the tears came back and we cried unashamedly when we first saw their names inscribed on this long, black wall.