Humor?
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Humor?
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Ham "Humor" and some attempts at it...
THE classic by Scott Adams
How The FCC Sees It
Great reading
NĜUJR AAĜME, SK
Great Quotes (Not Amateur Radio Related, but amusing none the less)
Politicians & Public Servants (This category has a LOT of material)
"I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman." - Arnold Schwarzenegger
"I guess I should warn you: If I turn out to be particularly clear, you've probably misunderstood what I said." -- Alan Greenspan, ex Federal Reserve Board Chairman
"If
somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack
"It
isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." "During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet." --Al Gore, Vice President - Inventor or the Internet
"It
depends on what the meaning of the word "is" is. If the--if he--if
"is" means is and never has been, that is not that is one thing.
If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement." "You know the one thing that's wrong with this country? Everyone gets a chance to have their fair say." ---President William Clinton, May 28, 1993 in the Courtyard, City Hall, Philadelphia, PA "The last time
I checked, the Constitution said, 'of the people, by the people and for the
people.' That's what the Declaration of Independence says." "African-Americans watch the same
news at night that ordinary Americans do." "Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." William Jefferson Clinton
I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting. - --President Ronald Reagan "Well, I learned a lot....I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You'd be surprised. They're all individual countries" -- President Ronald Reagan
"Things are more like they are now than they have ever been." -- President Gerald Ford
"Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?" --Tom DeLay, to three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in Houston, Sept. 9, 2005
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." --Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, D.C. "What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?" --Marion Barry, former mayor of Washington, D.C.
"Get one thing straight for once and for all. The policeman isn't there to create disorder. The policeman is there to preserve disorder." -- Mayor Richard Daley of Chicago
"Why can't the Arabs and Jews resolve their disagreements at the conference table like good Christians?" -- Warren Austin, U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations
"No woman in my time will be prime minister..." --Margaret Thatcher
Those
who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still
alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same
again.
"We have a lot of kids who don't know what works means. They think work is a four-letter word." -- Hillary Clinton
"I
haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
"What
we have is two important values in conflict: freedom of speech and our desire
for healthy campaigns and a healthy democracy. You can't have both."
Business
"If there is one word to describe Atlantic City, it's Big Business." - Donald Trump
"Novelty is always welcome, but talking pictures are just a fad." - Irving Thalberg, head of MGM
"We've
got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
"640K
ought to be enough for anybody."
Sports
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
"We are going to turn this team around 360 degrees." - NBA player Jason Kidd
"When you say I committed adultery, are you stating before the marriage of 1996 or prior to?" - Deion Sanders
"He speaks English, Spanish, and he's bilingual too." - Don King
"Predictions are difficult, especially about the future." - Yogi Berra
"Ruth
made a great mistake when he gave up pitching. He might have been a great
star."
Actors, TV Personalities & Music "Professionals"
"I thought Fleetwood Mac was a car?" -- ABC anchor Peter Jennings
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost an important part of your life." - Brooke Shields
"I've got taste. It's inbred in me." - David Hasselhoff
"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people." - Axl Rose
"I was asked to come to Chicago because Chicago is one of our 52 states." - Raquel Welch
"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa." - Britney Spears
"I think that the film 'Clueless' was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness." - Alicia Silverstone
"Whenever
I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't
help but cry. I mean, I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all
those flies and death and stuff."
"Is
this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea." - Jessica Simpson
"I'd rather be
dead than singing 'Satisfaction' when I am forty-five."
Thought for the Day Hard work never killed anybody - but it is illegal in some places.
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